A Rich History Of Ballbearings
|Mario eyes parked cars|
Culture & Dairy Products – THIS MONTHS BIG ACTION FIST-FIGHTS – TEN ROUNDS UNLESS STATED – ALL TO BE STAGED AT EASTLANDS OR CARRINGTON OR IN THE PLAYERS’ CARPARK (wherever it kicks off basically)
· Roberto “The Rock” Mancini versus Carlos “the Jackal” Tevez
· Mario “Carcrash” Balotelli versus Jerome “Drinks Trolley” Boateng
· James “Bonehead” Milner versus Yaya “The Mountain” Touré (that’s enough fights –Ed)
|Juve's tough guy fashionistas|
Travel and Crime Dispatch: WORLD CUP LATEST
|Warner. integrity guaranteed|
Page 412 – Read our exclusive guide: How to survive at the Qatari World Cup if you are a gay, pale-skinned, jewish alcoholic.
Hyperbole Section: Rick Ashley Exclusive: How Alan Pardew Can Take Newcastle United Into Europe and Beyond!!!! MAGPIES FINALLY REVEAL THEIR BURSTING AMBITION. Never again will people laugh louder about other teams.
Legal Dispatch – ALWAYS READ THE SMALLPRINT - Contract Details Exclusive: “Balotelli committed to City but Undecided on future. 5 year contract said to run out in January” How does this work exactly? See Trevor Dipthong’s analysis Page 18
|A warm welcome to Gorton|
Nutrition Dispatch: Food important, say experts, but not in portions like that, thank you very much.